Which do you love more..

the USofA or India?

I often get asked that question when I go back to India for a visit. A random aunt, an old grandmother, an odd uncle and sometimes even people I've only just been introduced to!

Sometimes, the question is asked with an open mind and out of mere curiosity, but more often that not, the person asking the question is expecting the answer to be "Of Course I love India! Its the country of my birth, how can anything take its place!! America is nothing compared to my India", as soon as I give the answer they expect, there's a smug smile on their face and things move along to other topics.

Once in a while, simply to see the reaction, I have mentioned "Oh! I like America, its so much better there", and the reaction I get is a disappointed look and a statement like "that country changes everyone!"

*Sigh*.. In all honesty, I don't have a favorite.

India - Is the country of my childhood, some of my fondest memories are in India, memories of idyllic times, zero responsibilities, carefree days, family fun. Its the country where the foundation of the person that I am today was set, I learnt from my school and my parents to be who I am today.

America - Is the country that gave me my first paycheck. It is where I learnt to be independent and take on responsibilities. It is the country that has provided an easier lifestyle for me, simply because of the amazing infrastructure they have here and it is the country where I owned my first home.Almost all of my adult memories are associated with America.

Asking me which country I love more, is like asking a mother which of her children does she love more! I love them both equally, so does this mean I don't ever want to go back to India?

I've thought about that, and the answer is no, I do and I will go back to India, part of the foundation that was set inside of me in childhood, taught me to love family above all else, and while I do have an easier life in the US, I sorely miss my family. Each time someone is sick back home, my heart is restless, my mind becomes numb, I ache to go back! And so I will.

But if ever, anyone wants the real answer from me of which I like better, I will have none, I love both places equally and America, just like India, has a special place in my heart and life.

The Enemy Within

I had an interesting conversation recently, and while I don't think I was able to convince the person I was talking to about the validity of my point-of-view, I felt it was important to put both the point of views down here for all and sundry to ponder/comment upon.

The conversation started with me making a random remark about how India (like China) needed to implement or enforce some population control measures. To this the person replied, that it wasn't possible, because the Muslim population in the country wouldn't agree. (yes.."huh?" was my reaction too)

That remark, set us off on a completely different thread of conversation. The person in question opined that the Muslim minority in India was actually "paid" (though not sure by whom) to have a larger family. He believed the intent was to eventually outnumber the "Hindu" majority in India. He further claimed, that he foresaw a future where these "Muslims" would eventually take over by force that which was not rightfully theirs (land, businesses etc) , simply because they could (they being a majority in that future). Finally, he claimed, he already saw that happening to a smaller extent, when the police themselves felt they could not react to a crime committing Muslim in the same manner as they would to any other person, for fear of a communal backlash. Further, he says, the Muslim kids are also budding truants who regularly deal in petty crimes like not paying bus fares etc. and would eventually grow up into organized crime.

Sadly,this religion biased opinion is the flavor of the day, even in 21st Century India, even among the "learned" few, thanks to our religion tinged politics. The self proclaimed "defenders" of Hinduism and Islam, the saffron brigade and the mullahs, poisoning the minds of the people and widening the chasm into which I'm afraid we all will fall one day.


My opinion regarding the above statements is a) they are not based on any facts and therefore are moot b) they are, if propagated to the younger generations, the seeds of discontent that will result in fruits of contrition

Let us take on this argument one point at a time, firstly I agree its difficult to enforce a population control law in India, however, it is not because a particular sect does not want to or is paid to reproduce or whatever, it is because, simply put, India is a democracy (unlike China), and hence any enforcement of law is violating the most basic right of the people of the country. Also, the various religions (not just the one), are traditionally opposed to birth control, they believe kids are a gift from god, and hence any form of enforcement would lead to hurting the religious sentiments of too many.

What the government can do however, imho, is to provide incentives to people with lesser kids (free higher education for the kids etc), this will (hopefully) goad the people into thinking positively with regards to population control.


Islam is the second largest (if not already the largest) religious sect in the world. That Muslims will one day outnumber the Hindus or any other religious sect in India is a given. It is therefore all the more important to quash any communal feelings right now, at its root, before it grows into something which no one can manage.The answer is not to quash the current minority or alienate them but to learn to live together harmoniously

Kids playing truant is not necessarily an indication of future criminal activities, it usually is just kids being kids. At some point of time or another, we have all tried to "get away" by not paying the bus or train fare, just to experience the adrenaline rush we felt when doing something naughty. While we always knew it was wrong, as kids we needed to explore possibilities to grow and that's all it usually was. And its not a particular caste or kind of kid doing this, its kids in general.



I have been fortunate to have friends belonging to different castes (people I studied with in school, hung-out with in college or worked with in a professional environment), and speaking for them, I would say they are not the least bit criminal, they act or behave in pretty much the same way as I do and their goals in life are pretty similar to mine.

I believe, education not religion is the basis of future life, I'm not an Atheist, but I believe all religions in the world have the same basic message, that of peace not war. I believe people around the world need a lesson in co-existence. I believe the real war is with the Enemy Within, the foe that goads man against man, the small/big part within us that believes that our religion (whatever it may be), is "the best", or the "one true religion", that is the part of our soul that we must overcome. Once we win over the Enemy within, maybe we will find no enemies without?

P.S. - I came across a great blog, that basically mirrors my thoughts on religion. Here is the link to that. http://righttowrite.blogspot.com/2007/07/i-believe-in-keeping-it-personal.html

The Fat and Thin of it!

According to Darwin's Theory : it took millions and millions of years of evolution for us to get where we are today. I wonder how much longer will it take for the average Indian mind to advance (sociologically mind you not intellectually).

The average Indian mindset is still bogged down by seemingly inconsequential issues like who's thinking what of me and what will people say if I do or don't do this and that. Married women are still rated in terms of how well/how much they cook or how much they can clean and not how well they may be doing in their careers.Men are still considered to be breadwinners even when their wives might be earning as much or more.

And the funniest observation yet, if a man does not put on weight and gain a pot belly after marriage, it is generally considered the wife's fault for not "taking care" of her husband, while if a woman puts on weight after marriage she's let herself go!

Unbelievable? yet true! Indians obsess about being fat rather than being thin..like they say..it happens only in India! Well, I think its high time we stopped thinking of people in terms of how they look and if we do have to think in those terms let think Fit not Fat !

For my part, my husbands actually lost some fat since we've been married, he's pretty fit if I may say so myself and as for the "what will people say!" syndrome, those people be damned, we're 28 , fit and loving it!

My Sudden Liking for Cricket Explained

My last Blog surprised my brother a little bit, apparently a long cricket blog and from a girl at that, is quiet uncommon (at least among the people we know) and that got me to thinking... Why do I suddenly love Cricket enough to write about it?

I was never a cricket fan per se, yes, I used to follow the game when I was in India and yes I have seen a "live" one day match at Wankhede and totally enjoyed it, but the game I really remember watching with interest back then is Tennis. I was up and up on the rankings, the players and even had favourite tennis players who I was extremely passionate about..not so much with cricket though..

Best I can see, things changed when I came to the USofA. The further you go from your country, the more dearly you cling to the things you most associate with it. And this I find not just applies to sports but to everything.

So it was here that I found my mother tongue..yes, in India, I used to talk, think and even dream in English, my mother tongue (Gujarati) was my second language, and I admittedly was not very good at it. Now, while I still think and dream in English, I find myself talking more and more in Gujarati whenever i find a fellow Gujarati friend here and that as actually helped improve my command over that language as well!

It is here in the US that I understand the value of Mia Familia, where in India I respected my parents I also rebelled and threw tantrums to get my way, now I just listen to what they have to say and find it easier to admit what I always knew..that they are right about everything!

Festivals, which seemed to be just another social fling in India, here are sorely missed and hence celebrated as much / as closely as possible.I find I yearn to wear the Indian salwar kameez and eat Indian food here, more than I ever did while I was in India and could do these things more often.

And finally, move over Tennis, Cricket..the game loved by my 1 billion brothers and sisters is here to stay. It reminds me of Sunday afternoons spent in front of the TV set with the whole family, while mom's made hot nashta in the kitchen, it reminds me of the huge crowds that gather outside the local Electronics store showing the cricket matches on their TV Sets, it reminds me of the collective whoops and sighs that seem to rise out of the country with every boundary or wicket. Cricket therefore, has ceased to be just a game..but has become a symbol, a symbol of a country where I spent the Best Years of My Life so far..and so..I love cricket.

Its as simple as that..

C'mon India..Dikha Do!

Cricket is a second religion to most people in India, that said, when the Indian cricketers fail to meet the high standards set by the general public on their performance, there is bound to be discontent.

India's match against Bangladesh in the 2007 World Cup is only a case in point. A higly paid, highly trained, "seasoned" cricketing team like India, lost..and lost badly to a fairly new and inexperienced side, and to add fuel to the fire, it happened during a World Cup....opening up the (previously unimagined) possibility of a shameful first round exit for the Indian side.

To this, the Indians reacted by raising their voices on the streets, burning a few posters and storming an under construction house of one of the cricketers and causing some damage.But is this reaction getting the point accross?

Dont get me wrong now, I'm all for reactions.. any kind of reactions from my fellow Indians, because Indians by nature are a quiet lot, they barely seem to react to "issues" anymore, for the most part, the common Indian has given up hope it seems. So after the recent bomb blasts that rocked the very epicenter of Mumbai's routine..the Railways..the world marvelled at the strength of the mumbaiites as life went "back to normal the very next day", while the rest of us wondered at the lack of passion shown by the general public. A thing like the blasts..in any other country..would've incensed the public, they would've asked the government for answers, for revenge, for better infrastructure..while in India..we acted as though not much had changed.

So the show of passion by the general population in this Indian defeat, pleasantly surprised me. However, once that is done..a more sensible (in my opinion) response should be for the Indians to wonder, why do we pay our cricketers the high salaries that we do? why not pay them based solely on performance? why do we allow cricketers to become actors..when clearly that seems to be distracting them from the one task which is theirs to do..play cricket..why dont we ..the Indians..decide to proactively NOT use any product our so called cricketers support in their advertisments..which will prompt the advertisors not to go to them..hence leaving our cricketers with little choice but to practise in their "spare" time..

Why dont we more voiceferously voice our opinions when a player who is clearly not performing well, is chosen to be on the team solely because the captain wants him? Team India needs to realize..that they are just that..Team INDIA..the represent us, our hopes, our sporting dreams.. and that is not something to be taken lightly..a player needs to perform to be on the team..a captain needs to lead to be the captain..and our selectors need to select based on performance..not on the captains whims.

We treat our players like demi-gods..in exchange we demand they perform. No one can expect them to win all matches..but we expect them to play like the world class players we think they are..we expect them to excel in all parts of the game..we definately dont expect them to reply on the wins or losses of a third team to decide their fate!

This opinion of-course is not solely based on this one game that Team India lost..its based on their past performances..its based on the fact that our players lack the killer instict..its based on the fact that some of our players are growing too big for their breeches..

Team India needs to perform..for itself and for its 1 billion supporters..or we need to find ourselves some new demi-gods.